Editor’s Note: If you’d like to learn more about how to deal with difficult clients or customers, check out our self-paced, online course that covers this topic in detail.
Have you ever answered your workplace phone, only to be met with an agitated caller? You weren’t expecting it, you’re overwhelmed, and it feels like they’re taking out all their frustration and anger on you. Caught off guard, you might think, What am I supposed to do?
Handling confrontational calls can be challenging, especially when we’re unprepared. But the good news is, there’s a lot we can do to manage these situations effectively.
The first thing to keep in mind is that confrontational phone calls have several unique features that add to the difficulty of managing them effectively. For example:
- It may be easy to misjudge the caller’s true intentions and/or anger levels, leading you to possibly jump to conclusions or treat them differently.
- You may feel a lack of genuine connection with the other person, or they may feel “distant” because you cannot see them.
- It may be hard to tell if they are paying attention (plus, you will need to take extra steps to show you are paying attention).
- There may be a wide number of technical issues (echo, delay, dropped call, etc.) that can impede the conversation.
Keeping these challenges in mind, there are several key strategies that can be used to help successfully navigate tough customer calls.
Key strategies
Unlike other difficult conversations, such as giving performance feedback, these calls happen without warning. That’s why it’s essential to have simple, go-to strategies and, if possible, practice them in advance.
1. Stay calm
Keeping your cool is crucial. While I won’t dive into specific techniques here, there are many strategies to help you stay centred when tensions rise. Losing your temper will only escalate the situation.
2. Document everything
Identify who’s calling and ensure you have a record of the conversation. Are they documenting what you say? You should do the same—especially if the call needs to be escalated to a supervisor or, in extreme cases, law enforcement. A good rule of thumb: assume you’re being recorded and act accordingly. If a recording were made public, you should have nothing to worry about.
3. Acknowledge their frustration
Feeling heard and having your concerns acknowledged is a fundamental human need. Because of this, every confrontational phone call should begin with a clear acknowledgement of the concern or frustrations being expressed. You don’t need to agree or disagree with the content of what they are saying at this stage. Rather, you are simply letting them know they’ve been heard. After that initial opening, you can adopt a curious mindset.
4. Adopt a curious mindset
Anger usually stems from an unmet need or concern. Instead of reacting defensively, ask open-ended and clarifying questions to uncover the real issue. Without in-person communication cues like body language and eye contact, it’s even more important to convey concern and a genuine interest in resolving the problem at this stage in the conversation.
5. Be attentive and in the moment
Using active listening techniques can help you convey presence and demonstrate your interest in helping them. This will help with building empathy and trust, as well – both of which are key to conflict de-escalation.
6. Allow for emotional venting & use emotional labelling
By allowing a person to voice their concerns and making note of their disappointment, frustration or anger, we can help to manage the emotional climate of the call. Of course, we also have to set limitations around unacceptable behaviour and be ready to disengage should the need arise.
7. Search for solutions
Throughout the call, we should take a “problem-solving” approach and search for tangible solutions to the concerns being expressed. You can even consider asking the caller for their input and ideas using questions such as “what can we do to help sort this out?” or “how could we possibly resolve this issue?” A word of caution, however, continue to manage expectations and be realistic about what is possible, or you may end up creating more conflict!
For more training resources, visit my website https://conflictdoctor.ca/training/
Evan Hoffman, PhD is a Professor in the Faculty of Management at Vancouver Island University (VIU). With over two decades of global experience in various educational and professional roles, Evan is a skillful trainer, consultant, negotiator, and educator who has conducted workshops and training sessions for a wide range of individuals, from community leaders to government officials.